distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
