lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
