Your face is a jimmy john
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize