What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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