Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
