I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
