Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
