You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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