Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
