I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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