Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
