so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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