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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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