it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
