based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
