WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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