Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
