After last night, I could never be a politician.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
