i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize