Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
this will be a night to untag.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
