Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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