THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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