just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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