i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I can't turn off my feet"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
