I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize