Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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