if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
