; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
