waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
did you just send me my own nude
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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