I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
