After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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