My room smells like vodka and shame
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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