She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We had to coat check the pizza.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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