I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i need some magic done to my vagina
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
