she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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