she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
