Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
