i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
