just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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