Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
