She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
