You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
