elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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