i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
