I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
