dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
God, I missed his penis.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
