Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
