We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
