i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
