it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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