If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Someone shattered a urinal.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
