tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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