He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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