I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
