In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
