Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
