I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize