What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize