do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
