So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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