I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
