she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
