grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
