there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
