party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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