That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
